>>8631

I never thought I'd see Simo Hayha's name come up on the 'chan...

Day, made.

After reviewing all the evidence and conferring with several of my most intelligent acquaintances, I believe I have found the most logical explanation for the pyro's identity.

I don't really think this, but wouldn't it be weird. It would explain why no one understands pyro though.

>>8631
i very much approve of this.
also, bonus points for the mention of Simo Hayha. I figured it was only a matter of time before someone related him to the Sniper.

Has anyone seen the new Swiffer Duster "Dust in the Wire Jungle" commercial? Every time I see that, I think about the Dust in Sniper's van talking with an Australian accent.

>>8697
I pointed at the screen and yelled "SAXTON HAAAALE" when I first saw it.

>>8698

::Laughs like a hyena.::

Something I've been curious about recently...

How insane are the classes if at all?

>>8706
Just my opinions.

Soldier - Fairly batshit, nuff said.
Engineer - Often portrayed as being one of the sanest of the group, although he seems to be more of a mad genius to me. He did saw off his own arm after all.
Medic - Not really insane but ... rather sinister in his approach to his job. Otherwise he seems quite friendly.
Sniper - May be one of the sanest. He's kind of difficult because his personality in Meet the Sniper seems to contrast his personality ingame a bit. Based on the game - will do what it takes to get the job done. Based on the video - working stiff, just doing his job.
Demoman - Loves to blow shit up and isn't very gentlemanly about it, wouldn't really call him insane though, he's just doing his job.
Scout - Not insane, just a bit egotistical.
Pyro - Most likely rather insane.
Heavy - Seems to really enjoy killing people. He's also a bit difficult because his manner of speaking and personality don't suggest insanity to me.
Spy - Not insane, just really loves to get the upper-hand in both physical and verbal situations. He's also fairly egotistical.

>>8706
This question inspired me to take a personality disorder test, answering for each class to the best of my ability. I didn't answer for Pyro though, because we obviously can't hold potatoes to the same standards as people. Anywho, these are the results:

Scout - Histrionic, Narcissistic, Antisocial.

Engineer - None.

Soldier - Paranoid, Schizoid, Antisocial,
Narcissistic, Obsessive-Compulsive.

Spy - Antisocial.

Demoman - None.

Sniper - Schizoid.

Heavy - None.

Medic - Moderately Obsessive-Compulsive,
Moderately Schizoid, Moderately Antisocial, Moderately Narcissistic.

I think that's pretty damn accurate.

Heavy talking to his guns, if not a symptom of schizophrenia, is a sign he's more lonely than he lets on. I think he refused to talk about his past with The Director because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like letting on that he's not as unphased as he seems. Ditto with Demo, but he smothers it with alcohol, smoking, and blowing shit up.

Engie is a mad scientist, no doubt, but he seems like the least likely to let that on. Like you could go out for a beer with him and he'd never let on he's unstable.

I always thought Soldier was too dedicated to AMERICA to really have a relationship with either sex. Or something made me think he'd be really uncomfortable with intimacy and sex. If he were gay, he'd never pursue it because he was convinced he'd go to hell if he did.

Soldier feels very Gen. Turgidson to me.

... And now I have the urge to draw TF2/Dr. Strangelove crossover art...

>>8706

i think they all of them sort of are, to a degree. obviously none of them are really truly unstable or prone to fits of hallucinations and detachment from reality(schizophrenic), or else they would be rendered unable to do their jobs efficiently. but, all of them have a different sort of "violent" streak to them. soldier, heavy, pyro, scout, and demo all have a loud, crazy, boisterous violent streak. medic, engie, spy, and sniper have a much more subdued streak. Manifestations of said streak all come differently to each class.

(also i think heavy talking to his gun probably just means he's lonely and a bit traumatized from being in a concentration camp.)

>>8615

I dunno. How much of Sniper observing comes from the job and how much from personality? I got the impression from the "Meet the" vid and the "Meet the Director" comic that he's less detatched than he lets on.

With Regards to Solly, though... I don't see him as a Cancer at all. My impressions of Cancers are Highly emotional and homebodies. Solly would sneer at anybody on the battlefield being too emotional. Then again, whatever sign he really is may be masked by his batshit insanity. I say Scorpio because Scorpios are INTENSE people, and they have very little sense of humor with regards to themselves (again, from Personal experience of working with them) and get really bent out of shape over tiny little things. Their sense of humor tends to be fairly dark, also in my experience, and they have a fascination with the dark/seamy stuff and death, which puts me in mind of Solly's head collection.

And for Medic,Virgos tend to be kind of clinical in regards to stuff, and a stickler for cleanliness (No, Archimedes- get out of there, it's filthy!) This website made me laugh- the line about how some Male Virgos strike people as effeminate... http://www.astrology-online.com/virgo.htm Well, Valve, way to go with that by giving the Medic the Geisha wig!

>>8713
I agree with most of these sign-matches, BUT, I have to kind of disagree with Solly not being a Cancer; Cancer's are emotional, but 'emotional' very much counts as anger. Usually when you consider someone 'emotional' there are two derivatives: they are very sensitive towards things, but how they portray that emotion is usually either in anger or being crying upset. Like, when a MAN is 'emotional', they commonly portray it as being aggressively or defensively upset, like anger, and when a WOMAN is 'emotional', they commonly portray it as much more saddening, like crying or getting in a depressed state. It's how hormones work, and how the two different sex brains work.

I like the idea of Solly being a Scorpio too, but the general Scorpio seems more like Medic to me. The aspect of Solly being Cancer is that he is very protective towards any relationships and gets worked up over things easily, which he does based on the Director comic and the WAR comic. BUT because everyone has their own portrays of the guys everything is just opinions and guesses based on how we know they act. It would be neat if Valve ever gave any more hints into their lives, but that may be until Meet the Pyro eventually comes out.

Spy has always hid his identity, even now, even with a mask on it is still not his real face.
He stole the identity of a man whose life he ruined and thought he had left for dead, but it turns out he's alive and pissed and is ready to track him down and end him for good.
Spy is the pyro who once had a family, friends and a good life until he ruined all that and now Pyro is out for revenge.

>>8716

My headcanon makes Soldier and Scout both Aries. They just always strike me as being similar in how they react to things and I always see them as characters who would always butt heads constantly. I like to think Soldier would have a Scorpio Moon though to amplify INTENSITY. And if we go with the Chinese Zodiac and say that Soldier is a Dog, that'd make his birthday around April 12-14, 1922 in my headcanon.

>>8716
>>8719

Or like me, Mars in Scorpio. Also very intense in certain ways. And I have Moon in Taurus as well. My anger is like the Hulk. I can take a lot of shit without reacting. But once you set me off... hoo boy! It doesn't help that I was a virtual outcast when I was in school and got a lot of teasing. I internalized it all and when I finally went off, it was like a nuclear bomb drop. I still jokingly say, "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Like Bill Bixby did in the TV series...

Small headcanon about Engie: he never sawed off his arm to install the Gunslinger because, well, he never had one in the first place!

Dell will tell you that he sawed off his arm in order to do it, but the actual truth is that, when he was born, his right arm up to a certain point was extremely unhealthy, even shriveled. It had to be surgically removed and so, for many years, Dell grew up with only arm functioning arm. With the help of one of his brothers, he designed a prosthetic arm that would hopefully give him the result he had been seeking for so long: normality. The design was patented under RED (and stolen by BLU) and mass-produced, and soon enough he had a functioning arm.

But, this came at a price. For all throughout middle and high school, he was teased for the fact that he had a prosthetic, and his short stature only made things worse. When he moved onto college, he finally found peace and funneled all of his rage from those years into getting 11 PhDs, wowing his family (well, they stopped getting surprised after the seventh degree) and bringing in loads of money as the RED Engineer.

When his blood sample was taken and BLU stole it to clone him, they had to alter his genetics so that the next clone would be respawned with a healthy arm. When the Gunslinger was released into the public, it was the BLU Engineer that actually had to saw off his arm (thankfully, BLU keeps two blood samples of Dell: one with his faulty arm and one with a healthy arm; the latter's memories are appropriately altered upon respawn).

>>8713
>>8716
>>8719


Aquarius isn't detached so much as aloof- the stereotypical Aquarius is fascinated with those around him, but enjoys being alone a lot of the time to explore and meditate. Considering that the Sniper is a survivalist and that he works alone, it's clear that he has a 'lone wolf' sort of personality.

Scorpios are ambitious, independant and manipulative by nature, and nothing we've seen of Solly indicates that he has the capacity or inclination for mind games. He's also not a very sensual person, but he is ragingly sentimental and he has a wild imagination. His ability to buckle down when things get real give him some capacity as a leader, though- you don't see him panicking, fumbling or fleeing in battle. Medic doesn't strike me as a Scorpio either, as he doesn't have an ambitious nature- he's a scientist, not a svengali.

While Aries is a sign associated with competitive natures and aggression, Aries people are incredibly straightforward and not prone to the sort of flights of fancy that colour the Soldier's reality. Additionally, when confronted on an emotional level, it's in the Aries' blood to lash out- in the War! update, when Solly is told that his friend has betrayed him, he becomes recalcitrant, digging his heels in and refusing to believe it. He's right, of course, and this suggests that he's more insightful and patient than people give him credit for being.

>>8716
That's true, not to mention that Cancers can hide behind a thick shell.

But one thing that doesn't sound much like Soldier is that Cancers also avoid conflict if they can.

>>8728

I don't think there is anyone of any sign who completely fits the stereotypical sign to the T. If we stick to strictly sun signs and say Soldier is a Cancer, he could be one on the Cancer/Leo cusp, meaning he'd have the influence of Leo too which brings in more Fire traits into his personality and also intensify that sense of chaos with the conflicting Water/Fire.

There's so many factors in play with astrology. man, I kinda really hate to simplify it so rigidly.

>>8737

Realistically, almost any person could 'fit' almost any sign, depending on secondary influences, and even though the nine classes have pretty simply-defined personalities, not all of them mesh 100% with any (simplified) zodiacal sign. While I was putting my 'fictional character horoscope' chart together, I basically tried to figure out as much as I could about each character's personality and then slot that in with whichever 'stereotypical' sign meshed the best with that information. A few were very easy, (Engineer is a stereotypical Taurus, Scout is a stereotypical Aries, Spy is a stereotypical Gemini) while others were still somewhat up in the air after I was done. Medic could also be a Virgo, Soldier could also be an Aries- in their cases, I'd argue that it's the secondary quality in a sign that better matches their personalities. Virgo and Pisces are both mutable signs, Cancer and Aries are both cardinal signs.

>>8737
True. I mean I'm a Gemini and there's aspects that fit me (Nervous, takes on multiple projects, easily bored, flighty, uncomfortable with deep emotion, etc) and ones that don't (loves travel, extrovert, adapts to change). Granted I'm just going by a few websites, I'm no expert.

This is admittedly why I don't believe in the zodiac at all. I like the symbolism, but you can't always shove the personality of everyone born in a certain month (or year, based on the Chinese one) all into the same personality traits. I feel the same way about crossovers- sometimes two characters from, say, TF2 work perfectly crossed over as characters from something else, but then everyone else is sort of shoehorned in.

Well, that and I'm an Aquarius and I've never felt like any of those traits fit me at all. I know a lot of Aquarius'es that don't.

>>8761

preach. the zodiac/astrology can be fun and good conversation and all, i don't doubt that. but in the end, all it is is a bunch of generalized traits that could apply to very many people. for example, saying one sign is 'headstrong'? billions of people are headstrong, you can't squeeze it into one sign. you also can't make up for generalizations by trying to go into specifics such as alignment of the celestial bodies or "houses". Chinese zodiac, regular zodiac--it's all interesting fun, but means absolutely squat...

Okay so, I've been watching a lot, I mean a LOT of dr.who, (I'm currently up to season 4's christmas episode), and now I have a new headcanon. The pyro is in fact an alien, he's an angry, war-faring alien who loves to burn things, needs to in fact, its how he feeds, he burns things up and absorbs the reaction the fire creates on a microscopic scale. He can also create small pockets of extremely volatile energy (the hadoken taunt)As for how he, er... it got where it is... (This is where it gets nerdy) it came to earth's forests and began burning things to a crisp, the doctor captured it, like he usually does, and gave it a place to live, in a secret war constantly raging on in a isolated time pocket in the 1950s-60s full of men who never die, ammunition that never runs out and therefore a food source which would never exhaust. He also trapped it in the suit, making it so it can never speak to its teammates about the nature of their existence, not that it'd ever want to.

er, not sure if this has been discussed already. also not sure if it counts as headcanon as it as actually canon.
the engineer from team fortress classic is the TF2 engineer's father.
>image related; an official valve picture of engie as a kid

>>8828
Is time travel involved? Because Team Fortress Classic is very "modern" compared to TF2 verse

>>8829
hm. that's true, but tfc came out in the 90s, and tf2 is late 60s/early 70s, so the time difference isn't that big. perhaps valve made TFC engineer TF2 engie's father because a) tfc came first, and b) an easter egg that team fortress veterans could notice..?

Pic from the Engineer update showing the TFClassic team retconned to the 1940's or so. It's entirely possible TFC Engie is Dell's dad.

>>8829
TFC didn't have teleporters

I think it's really just a cute reference. I personally have it as my headcanon as well - If you look past the more futuristic style of TFC, there's nothing directly preventing TFC Engie from being TF2 Engie's daddyo.

I like to imagine that the Engineer developed body integrity identity disorder at some point, and whipped up the gunslinger so he could still work with one less forearm. Also, because Mad Science.

>>8832
Then perhaps an alternate dimension where Australium didn't exist?
Maybe Engie dad and co got accidentally or purposefully sent there.

The game actually takes place in a modern-day badass costume contest gone horribly wrong. Everyone was mislead into it being judged by Administration, but it's infact a fight-to-the-death costume contest. Team's were split based on overall color theme, hence why some items have a RED/BLU alternative.

The world is just split up into X amount of people who look and act identical, and Redmond controls exactly half, and Blutarch controls the other half. So there's two Tavish Degroots, two Jane Does, both Scout's Moms look and act identical, down to their thoughts. Whoever wins the war gets to euthanize the other half for being "inferior copies".

Based on the most recent news post, Sniper is a secret novelist. All the time he sits waiting for his target, he's plotting out stories, and he keeps all his writing in a box under his bed in his van. No-one will EVER see it.

(And he's not half bad.)

From the man who brought you "I Banged GLaDOS" and "Throwing Piss At People" comes the thrilling new sci-fi novel...

>>8960

Welp, thanks for the mental image that the Sniper posts to TF2chan.

>>8960
I just love that they included a link on how to make origami hats.

I theorize that time travel is responcible for respawn. you see, when a mercenary is killed in battle, a version of them a split second before they are killed is taken an travels space time back to the respawn room, which is why the gibs just disappear, and why the mercenaries remember everything up until just before they were killed. Time travel.

This also leads to a joke theory about Demoknights. When playing a Demoknight, it is not actually just Demoman using a sword and shield, but rather his identical anncestor from Degroot Keep displaced in time.

just wondering if anybody has seen this yet:

http://kotaku.com/5843143/sniper-voice-actors-book-picks-up-plugs-from-team-fortress-2-reviewers
it made me laugh :)
also:
http://www.amazon.com/review/RDTT5A7VN9TS4/?ref=cm_cr_dp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1603818103&nodeID=283155&tag=&linkCode=&tag=gmgamzn-20

>>8983
forgot to add that for the last link my headcannon is now that either Heavy and Sniper are BFFs or they are totally fucking...

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1A8FGHTMEQ9U/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1603818103&nodeID=&tag=&linkCode=#wasThisHelpful

This is by far my favorite one

I was playing a game of TF2 last night and there was an agreement that Soldier was "the kid in the helmet" growing up. He just sat there in the yard smashing his head against a shovel.

I usually don't laugh at things like this, but I couldn't help it.

  Some Pyro headcanon here.

If male, Pyro is quiet and somewhat geeky, but is also usually tense and stressed out. Lighting fires or being in the presence of fire puts him at ease. Sometime in his life, fire had some positive effect on Pyro and thus brought on his obsession with it. Appearance wise, Pyro's face is horribly scarred and half of it is burned off. One ear is completely gone and he has some trouble hearing. His voice is really raspy and scratchy.

If female, Pyro is like the girl in the video, but replacing the motive for starting fires from relieving stress to revenge.

The skeleton Medic has hanging up in his office?

It's the one he appropriated from its original owner.

>>9012
Mine too.

The picture has "Dr. [too small to read]", which I'm assuming is his birth name (which has since changed to hide from the cops) and "Deceased". He faked his own death. The open cabinets are a result of him rustling around and removing any incriminating documents before he fled the country.

Which makes me wonder- maybe he used "I need to be a doctor for civilians who need me" as an excuse for whatever reason he had for not working with the Nazis.

Pyro ships her teammates

  After seeing this video, with it in tandem with the iPod earbuds, I have Spy secretly dancing to dubstep so that he can practice moving around with stealth. Or just keeping his movements fluid so he can escape when he somehow fails to backstab an enemy. Something along those lines.

I can't get the image of Spy moon-walking past a doorway and Sniper, Scout and Engie just staring wondering what just happened.

  Scout's Mom is Carmen Sandiego. She settled down for a bit, cut her hair, died it black, and adopted five kids to give the illusion she'd been there a while. And ended up having three more kids on accident.

And that's part of the reason she and spy "get along" so well - because she knows him on more levels than one.

Shut up let me JUST HAVE THIS, okay QQ

Crappy slideshow included for those who don't know.