I've been too tired to fap for the last week. This is so frustrating. ;_;

I'm so horny that the catchpa is 'bonoqz' and all I can think is 'bonor > boner > lady boner.' Ffff. Saged because I am embarrassed and frustrated and horny and TIRED.

So, I'm at a loss here and extremely confused. I was originally gonna put this in the feelings thread, but I figure this was more the place to put this wall of text.

To start off, I can't say that I find myself attracted to girls in general. I'm straight for the most part but my god do I have a soft spot for those chubby cuties.
I would love nothing more than to hold them, cuddle with them, kiss them, and just spoil them rotten.

However, and here's where things are screwed up for me, I don't find myself sexually attracted to them nor do I see myself ever being in a good relationship with another female. I mean, I always get off on straight chubby porn but whenever I watch lesbians go at it, nothing. It's not that I have a problem with it and everyone important in my life would be completely okay with me dating another female, I just don't see myself having sex with one.

I was pretty okay with this until I found myself having a small crush on one of the girls in my group. I could go on about how adorable she is and how much she deserves a knight in shining armor, but my point would be moot. I just can't be her knight. Part of me just wants to have this warm and close relationship with her, but another part of me would much rather stick with males and be the spoiled one.

What really bugs the hell out of me is that I know for a fact that if I were born male I would have asked her out the second I saw her.
What's even worse is that I get off on imaging MYSELF being MALE and fucking her wherever the hell I damn well please.
She baked me cookies for Christ's sakes, oh how could I NOT imagine her in some cute little get up in the kitchen?

ANON IS SO CONFUSED

Is it odd to have fetishes you never want to explore (or realistically can't), but still can cum harder when masturbating to than any of your boyfriends have ever been able to make you cum?

I'm probably just messed up.

Hate to brag, but oh man is my newly-spawned sex life going nicely (you know, out of the two times we've slept together). I love how cute he is when he's on top, but I love how much deeper it is when I'm going cowgirl. Good thing both of us have no issue with a good-natured Chinese fire drill.

>>2925
I would like to say - absolutely not. I've got a morbid plethora of mild to severe guro, psychological/shock horror and rape fantasies (off the top of my head), but does that mean I actually want to be vivisected or sexually assaulted? Hell no.
A more specific example, my friend accidentally got me onto dental drills.. DENTAL DRILLS? Yeah. I don't actually want one of those near me unless I've booked an appointment with a dentist, thank you very much.

If your pic is related, I would venture that yours are a tad interesting, but nevertheless I wouldn't worry about them - especially if you know they're mostly just gonna be fapping material only. It's only when (and if) they become something you want to get more adventurous about that you ought to be careful.

>>2928
I'm glad to hear it!

Though that does remind me. I'm terrible at sex. I don't like being on top because I literally cannot feel anything and I usually only do missionary because it's the only position where I can feel something but everyone thinks that's boring. Help?

>>2938
I don't have anything to contribute to the TMI discussions but I wanted to say that it made me laugh a lot to see this part of Kaz and my collaboration here.
Carry on with your fappin' and sexin', TF2chan, you are all the coolest.

I sometimes get turned on by the fantasy of being a fully functional hermaphrodite, or being male.
On the other hand, it makes me feel weird later.

Guys, I'm so sexually frustrated it hurts. I'm sure everyone is well aware of my situation by now.

Role playing used to be how I went about sex, and now that that connection has been severed this role player is just sitting around wondering what to do with herself. Apparently, former girlfriend is still fine with role playing since it's fun for both of us, but dammit, all of our scenarios were always romantic in some way. It just isn't the same without that aspect!

This sucks. It sucks when you're horny and you have no way to vent.
Masturbation is out of the question, given where I live. That, and it's always weirded me out.

Okay, so this female right here really wants to shave her south area. Not because "my boyfriend asked", since I'm single, but because FUCK THAT CARPET IS ANNOYING and I love to feel smooth and stuff. I already cut it short with a scissor, but I really wanted to go all the way. BUT I don't know how to proceed in such enviroment.
I shave my legs with razors and my armpits with wax (seriously, why everyone gets so freaked out by wax? It's awesome!), and I don't know wich option would be better for the more intime parts. If you ppl have some advice it would be great to know it. And of course, what "haircuts" are better.

>>2977
I've gone fully bare and with a landing strip in the past, and what I find is that the latter is better for me. Sure, being completely bare feels nice for a little while, but when you have to go without maintaining it for a period of time it gets very itchy growing back in. Yes, there's upkeep with the french manicure, but it's not nearly as itchy on the front area and therefore less bothersome. Or at least that's the way I look at it.

This isn't exactly sex-related, but it's related to 'things that make you feel good that are frowned upon by society', so I figure this is an okay place to put it.
Okay, so I'm kind in my first time relationship-thing at the moment. It's really great, but we haven't been seeing each other that long. He's fab and we've mostly just done making out and that where I discovered I like getting bitten. I REALLY like getting bitten. As soon as I got home from seeing him, I looked in the mirror and freaked out over the monster hickies on both sides of my neck and on my chest. Now, I don't love my hickies, but I don't see them as something terrible (makeup was invented for a reason). I want to keep being bitten, but I worry about the hicky issuse. Would the simplest thing be and ice pack and makeup, or is there some other way to prevent hickies?
I also want to hear the chan's opinion of hickies/biting. Does anyone else like biting? If you see someone with hickies, do you assume things or do you not care?

>>2998
The best way to prevent hickies is not to give them or receive them but that's kinda hard to do haha. You can always tell him to give you hickies in other areas where you can hide the marks easily, like your sides or your shoulders. If you want to get rid of the marks, this is what I do. I get a brush similar to the one in the pic and I massage the marks away, In a circular motion awhile dabbing them with some ice once in awhile. This will help fade the marks away enough that people won't notice. or sometimes they just go away!

>>2998
Mmm, biting. I like to bite.

My advice?
Options include:
1. Start wearing scarves, necties, etc.
2. Train partner to bite without leaving marks (it's doable, but requires restraint ;) )
3. Train partner not to bite your neck.
4. Say "Fuck it" and wear your hickies with pride. :D

Also, Captcha was "chinal". Like anal, but with a chin.

>>2998
I had the same issue when I first started dating my man. Unfortunately scarves are unusual in 25 degree weather. I don't hate them because unf being bitten. So uh. I don't really care anymore, but ever since I've started teaching I know I can't have visible ones anymore. Like every other poster I'd say ask him to bite you in places other than your neck. Shoulders are usually a good place depending on what your man is into. Mine is absolutely obsessed with my tits (surprise) so I sometimes end up with bruises on them. He bites me on the shoulder and back on the neck when we're doing anal, and that's always covered by either my hair or the collar of my shirt. I'm sure after long enough you'll find a workable way to cover them up when you need to. I managed to cover them up when they were bloody messes up the side of my neck, so I'm sure you'll manage.

Kind of related, in the heat of passion or whatever my man starts scraping his nails down my back. Always breaks the skin and always feels fucking awesome. BUT taking a shower that next morning is not so awesome. Any tips on how to the searing pair or just take it like a man?

>>3079
>Any tips on how to the searing pair or just take it like a man?

Oh dear. That's a lot of mistakes. 'Any tips on how to prevent or lessen the searing pain, or should I just take it like a man?'

>>2998
If you need to cover it up, get some tattoo concealer from a professional theatre make up company. People in theatre and dance always have to cover tattoos, so if you're worried about needing to hide a dark blemish, invest in some of this stuff. Ben Nye has excellent quality theatre make up, and they have tutorials for most of their products, including this one on how to cover tattoos (and other similar marks) http://www.stagemakeuponline.com/howto/tattoo-cover.php

>>3080
Possibly something involving Aloe Vera or Savlon.

Merry Christmas to ME from the TeratoMate.

>>3164

Wow. Sex toys these days are becoming more and more like ornaments...

>>3165

Obviously I'm doing something wrong by keeping all of my rubber dicks in a bag where no one can see them.

Yes. I have a Bag of Dicks.

>>3164
It's so lovely and shiny and pretty and I need to stop it with my sextoy ADD.

In other news, life is smashing. Thought I'd be squicked by boyfran's finger up my ass, but it's actually quite nice. Also, I found out that a pharmacy near me is selling twelve packs of the condoms we like for, like, eight bucks. Compared to a three-pack at CVS for six-fifty, I like this plan a lot.

>>3164
Ffff, I just bought that on pure impulse a few weeks ago. It's really fantastic and I gotta recommend it whether you're into tentacles or not. Good size and shape, fun texture, and being glass it is quite hygienic, easy to warm up (or cool down...), and looks pretty too.

Though now I am not sure if I should feel weird knowing I own the same [kickass] dildo Marty does. Kinda gives me a weird vibe somehow. ...No pun intended.

>>3170
We're dildo bros! I don't feel at all odd about other people having the same dildo as I do, mainly because I've been known to review and recommend dildos. This one, for instance, the Tantus Inc "Hank" model. I think everyone should own one, and, what do you know, a lot of my friends now do.

This thread still alive enough to ask for some guidance?

-Someone who needs a lot of it.

>>3266
Oh definitely. Things are just slow moving lately.

Can't say I'll be the one to answer your query, but ask away.

>>3268


Ok, here goes nothing.

Due to depression in high school/college and the medications that followed, I ended up pretty much asexual for a long time. So during the time when most people first start learning about their body, I felt nothing. Not that I knew what I was doing, but my body certainly wasn't giving me any feedback either.

Now I'm in my early 20s, and have been off meds for almost 6 months now, and I'm starting to... wake up. I guess.

My body is finally responding, and I'm finding myself more attracted to people in general (of both sexes. That was a surprise.)

My question is, what now? How do I catch up with the rest of you?

>>3272
Don't think about it in terms of 'catching up'. That's something I struggle with too, being 25 and never been kissed (...yeah) but it's not some big sex race. Just experiment on your own, find out what feels good... I'm sure other anons can lend us relationship advice but as far as the 'awakening' goes, don't think of it as catching up but as the start of something or just plain having fun.

>>3274

I got this advice from the one person I trusted to ask irl, but it hasn't helped so far, because I don't even know what to "try" in terms of both the purely physical, as well as the dating world.

>>3275

Watch porn. You'll figure out what you like quickly enough, and it'll give you some ideas about what you might want to try.

PORN ISN'T A BAD THING. IF YOU ARE A COUPLE YOU CAN TOTALLY WATCH IT TOGETHER FOR IDEAS ON STUFF YOU CAN DO WITH EACH OTHER. IT IS NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF.

I am an orientation riddle.

I am more sexually interested in women than men, but I am romantically and sexually interested in a male friend who is bisexual, even though I suspect him to be predominately gay. I am also interested in my best gal pal, is having problems with her gender identity, And I would never pursue a longterm relationship with a women, even though I suspect myself to rate a 4 on the Kinsey scale. What am I?

Hint: I have no fucking clue.

>>3276

I like written stuff... not the visual so much.

>>3279

Nah, you know you don't really have to put yourself in an specific label if you have no fucking clue about it. If all else fails, you always have Po-Mo. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomosexual

>>3279
Try stuff, see what happens, and labels be damned.

>>298
I know it's been awhile, but I can't do it. My mom won't me have money to go and buy a lock, and I can't even use the one I have installed in the door. She wants it wide open when she's home because she decided she doesn't trust me (no idea what I did).

I don't have a brush handle, but I tried my hands, felt clueless, and stopped. I've fantasized before without touching myself (or looked at fanart porn/fanfic, can't do irl pics or videos yet), but I always had to stop. I'm sorry.

>>3349
You might want to try doing stuff in the shower. If you have good water pressure, you can use that to your advantage.

>>3349
>>3352
Agreed, the shower seems to be the location of choice for my friends who live with their parents. Me, I usually wait until they're asleep, not because they are too nosy but because I just don't want to be interrupted. You can also wait until the house is empty for a known amount of time. Shower is the most convenient though, in terms of it nearly always being at your disposal. You can also use the water pressure as an aid, as mentioned--detachable massage heads are great, but if you don't have one, you can utilize a little physics. The spray will be more intense near the bottom of the tub because of gravity and acceleration, so you can lie down and angle it so it's hitting your clit. Just remember not to get water directly in your vagina. Not sure how likely that is to happen but people always say not to do it and I'm sure it's for good reason.

As far as finding a trusty object to help you out, it helps to be creative. I've got one friend who utilized a combo of empty ramune bottle (glass = easy to keep clean) and old electric toothbrush (vibrations) for a while and it apparently worked like a charm. Beyond that, I recommend bringing a mirror along so you can see what you're doing and figure out the terrain, and never ever feel like you "failed" because you couldn't come or get something to feel good. Take everything as a positive learning experience and a step towards improving your sex life even if you get nothing else out of it. And good luck!

>>3357

Embarrassing Bodies says not to get water in your vagina (also known as douching) because it ends up washing away the good bacteria that stops you from getting easily infected.

>>3287

Speaking of written stuff, where does one even find it?

(Besides here, of course. Yowza.)

>>3357
Just don't use the open end of an empty bottle.

"I accidentally a whole coke bottle" indeed.

I have learned that if I don't feel there is any strong connection between the participants, porn and smut do nothing for me. This isn't exactly news, but just something becoming more apparent.

I'm such a naive sap. Holding on to this notion of so called "love".

>>3399
Dude. Mang. Are you kidding

You know how important emotion is to me? So important that, although I promised myself I wouldn't (lest I end up corrupting this dear part of my childhood), I ended up getting dragged into this part of the fandom. Yup. It was sorta like, "Oh man, I get to have sexyfaces/body expressions without the dicks? MOTHERFUCKIN DREAM COME TRUE." I've been way, way too embarrassed to draw anything, but, uh, the point is emotion and expressions/causes of emotion are so important I am willing to plow through dicks and robots and what-have-you just to get to it.

The only exception to this I have ever seen is with tits. Tits are just hot and that's really about it (though nipples are pretty weird to me, for some reason). Vaginas, on the other hand, not so much. I have an odd hymen phobia of sorts; my blood pressure plummets whenever I even hear, say, something about tampons.

...Though I can see how your point is the connection and not necessarily the emotion buuut connection is also pretty important/awesome yknow

I think I have found my new home. You guys are all awesome.

>>882
Sexytimes roleplay vet, here. Not sure if you're interested in more archetypal rp (Schoolgirl, "Daddy," etc) or actual character rp (Medic, Heavy, etc), but in general, I'd say talk about it extensively with your partner(s) beforehand, have an idea about what you want to do (I don't script, but I know some people prefer to). Especially when you're just starting out, don't be afraid of pausing a scene to work something out OOC-- I can never stress communication enough, make sure you're both(/all) having a good time. Costume, accents and the like are great for getting into character and lots of fun, but not necessary-- don't stress about props. Blindfold + credit card edge= hot knifeplay scene, for instance. Most of all, of course, relax and have fun taking a break from reality for a little while. [stfu, pedantic self. wat]

>>2998 OH MAN. I love my GF to bite the hell out of me and I'm her dom! It's my job to beat the snot out of her! But my clitoris is attached to my neck and shoulders, apparently. Makes for interesting role reversal! --No idea how to avoid hickies and bruises other than biting in strategic places where clothing will about cover it, like right where your neck merges into your shoulder (I am anatomy expert).

So. So are Girlfriend and I the only people on this chan who roleplay tf2 characters in bed? Guys, it's so much fun.

Sometimes we Rule 63 one or both of the characters, but, yeah, mostly it's two chicks pretending to be two dudes. --That's most of our sex lives anyway, hm.

>>916

Marty, I just want you to know, you're my bdsm hero.

I'm gonna be 25 this year. I've been celibate (mostly on purpose, I guess?) for almost three years. I've had one relationship, which was long distance for one year and under the same roof for three months (I moved across the country) before I caught him in bed with another woman. It was a crushing blow, to say the least.

I'm no closer to delving into or understanding my sexuality than I am to attaining nirvana. I sublimate my sexual desires into exercise and writing. I'm interested in exploring my sexuality, especially D/s, but have no one to turn to, not remotely. I also find myself attracted to men less, and women more, insanely so to women who are transitioning FTM. I feel ridiculous mostly, and try to ignore my sexuality altogether, but I'm also sort of regretting not having the opportunity to explore it.

Damn and blast it all.

How would one go about discovering how to turn their partner on? I hear the word "explore" but I'm just too afraid...and I don't want to outright ask them because I'm afraid that will sound stupid or ruin the mood... I feel like an idiot, but halp? :/

>>3164

I WANT IT.

>>3582

I'm REALLY curious about this phenomenon, because I can sure-as-shit tell ya Anon: you aren't the only one who has become more attracted to women-folk as time goes on.

Bumping because help in love and sex is always relevant.

>>3663
I find it a good practice to just go with it and ask them if they like it. If they've got a clear hnngh face or moan or something, stick to your guns because they like it. If they don't like it, they'll ask you not to do that. Also, you could ask them to show you what they like, because not only can you use that to make them happy, but depending on the action, you can start to whack off to what they're doing... and that makes some people turned on to know that they're turning you on without trying, and it's an endless cycle of hnngh.

Bumping because I got a question about dem sex toys. Since my knowledge about them is completely theoretical so far I will have some stupid questions - Be aware.

Sooo, I've been looking at some vibrators online and these fellas popped up. I don't know the English term for them but apparantly, they are for vaginal stimulation without actually being inserted. Some kind of massage thing, I guess?

Now I want to know, ladies: How do these exactly work? Which parts are stimulated? Are they recommendable?