>>845
Scout, you need to have your most powerful gun with you, just in case that thing shows up and tries to kill us while the others are gone.

Fuck yeah! Let's go! This bastard won't know what hit him!

>>846
Uh....about that. See, when I got attacked, my gun was kinda, well... crushed, by that.. thing. Squeezed it like a grape. So uh...

I got nothin'.

But gimme five minutes, I'm sure I can find a piece of wood or a rock, or somethin'.

No, need to worry boy, I'm sure I've got somethin' you can use. If that thing crused your gun that easily, then we gotta have you properly armed. Can't have you gettin' hurt again now can we? Speakin' of which, you gotta be ready to run or hide or something if thing get out of hand.

>>849
Yeah, uh, about that,too. You know what it did to my gun? It kinda did that to my legs, too, only like, way fucking worse.
I can walk and everything, but the damn Heavy could beat me in a footrace at this point.

...Your sentry's pretty solid anyway, right? I mean, it's gold, after all, ain't it?

>>851
Alright, ya' got me there. I'll have a dispenser set up, it won't heal your legs, but it should ease some of the pain.
Alright I think we're set to go! By this time tomorrow, that monster should be dead.

>>852
Thanks, hardhat. Ain't never been healed by a gold dispenser before. Should be cool.

And yeah, no fuckin' way this freak's making it out of this alive.

WOO! Let's go! Next time you hear from any of us, that bastard'll be dead!

.... Count me in zhen, if you all are going in like a mob of blind angry bees, I might as vell keep you all going, you all need at least ONE medic to keep your pony legs going.

RED Scout, if it makes you feel any better, I'm LOANING you mein prized gold Crusader's Crossbow. I vorked hard to earn zhat upgrade, so... can I trust you NOT to lose it? Do I have to show you how to aim, fire, and reload?

>>855
Sweet, man! Thanks!

....what's a crossbow?

>>856

You're... serious? Fine.. Take Herr Sniper's bow, hold it sidevays... and attach it to ze butt of a gun but shoots poison arrows and medicine darts to team mates. ZHAT'S vhat a crossbow is.

>>857

Pfft. Like Sniper's gonna let me take his bow. And how the hell do I attach it? Duck tape?

>>858
Dummkopf! I vas describing vhat a crossbow looks like and functions! It's like taking a bow and gun and putting zhem together! Not... ugh, nevermind, here use zhis turkey baster to fight vith. Just ask your Engineer to upgrade it to somezhing.

[A turkey baster has been taped to the board with this note]

>>859
Uh...thanks, Doc. I'll do that.

One question though. Tell me the white stuff in this baster ain't what I think it is. 'Cause we might need a new bulletin board if it is.

You two do know that I have an old shotgun the boy can use, don't you?

>>861
Bitchin'! Thanks, hardhat.

But seriously. I think we need a new board. That turkey baster the doc taped up tipped over and leaked over like, everything. I don't wanna even come near it.
I mean, MAYBE it's milk, but...

>>862
Uh... as interestin' as this is, I'm pretty sure we were supposed leave like two hours ago... can we please go now before this thing hurts anyone else?

>>864
I'm ready when you are, pally. Where the fuck is everyone else?

>>865
We've been waiting for like, two hours. I came back to make sure you were coming!

You might be right, I cant hardly read anything on here... why is everything covered in cream gravy, anyway?

......and why is there a turkey baster taped to the board?!

Can we please discuss this once we get back? Please?

>>867
Aright, aright, I'm coming. Come somebody help me down there, though? My leg's started bleeding again.

>>868
I got ya.

>>869
Thanks, hardhat. I owe you a beer after this.

Now let's waste this motherfucker!

We are sending our Pyro, Heavy, Demoman, Soldier, Engineer and Medic to assist. It is recommended that no further action is taken until the team arrives.
For the love of God, please let someone read this.

>>871

[This note is splattered with bloodstains]

Where were you fuckers like, an hour ago?

Jesus...is anyone even still ALIVE?! Fuck...
Sound off if you're not sewer bait, kay?

>>872

Ja, I still live, tending to GRN Pyro and BLK Scout's vounds. Zhat creature is stronger zhat ve zhought. I suppose ze only measure to take is gassing the sewers or sending in every team's Demoman in for a drunk bombfest.

I would have gotten the damned thing if it hadn't gone back in the water! I'll to learn to swim so I can go in there and strangle it myself, broken ribs or not.

I dont think gassing is necessary, doc! I found a GRN issued Dead Ringer in the sewer. Spy could still be there!

>>874
Wasn't our doc with you guys too? Where's he?

I mean, he's okay, right?

>>876
He better be.
I threw myself in front of a mass of tentacles to save his ass.

Its all sort of a blur after that. I remember getting grabbed and squeezed and seeing the BLK Scout get knocked across the sewer like a ragdoll. I have no idea if your Doc got out of there, I dont even remember how I managed to.

>>876

I lost sight of him ze second ve broke formation, ze dummkopf. I told him over and over again to stay together so it's a constant volley of needles.

And GRN Pyro, you are in no condition to be moving around! You have a bruised lung zhat still needs healing! Don't make me get out ze tranquilizers like I did on ze Scout! You vill not like vhere it must be aimed.

>>877
>>878

Guys, I'm serious! Where the fuck is medic?!

...what if he's dead?

That's it. Fuck it. You say you didn't see him come out of the sewers, then that's where he's gotta be. I'm goin' in after him, crippled or not.

>>879

Wait! It's dangerous to go alone! Here, take this!

>>878
You've heard me try talking/breathing, it's, not like my lungs aren't already damaged. What's a little more?

And.. you haven't seen that Medic?

>>879
I'll come with ya, but I want to avoid the monster if we can.
I'm grabbing some of your painkillers, doc. It's hard to move around with 8 broken ribs.

>>881
Thanks pally. Snag some of those pills for me too, kay? Can't hardly stand up anymore.

I'll wait for ya by RED base's entrance to the sewers. Don't leave me hangin' this time, aright?

>>882
Don't remind me of that, man. Walking out the door as I write, and there isn't anything to distract me, anyway...

I snagged a couple bottles, I think its 2 or 3 capsules for normal pain so like.... 4 or 6 for serious? I dunno.
I dont have any sort of weapons that dont shoot fire right now, but I have some napalm grenades for emergencies, so we might be safe so long as we're quiet. If we need to use these things, you'll have to duck behind me or a wall or something. My suit keeps this shit off pretty well, but it burns through skin and clothes and goes everywhere.

Shit, scout, I'm sorry I couldn't distract that thing any longer than I did. It didn't happen to hurt ya' anymore, did it? But I'm glad to hear you're alive, we got separated and I didn't see you afterwards.

>>884 Nah, it's cool, hardhat. Fucker didn't even get near me. I just tore my stitches out. The doc's gonna be pissed.

...if he's alive, I mean...

>>886
He's probably alive, he has to be.
Probably ran and got himself lost or something after I distracted the monster thing from going for him.

Holy shit. I've heard some weird stuff, but TENTACLES? Like, we're the fuckin' pros and we've dealed with EVERYTHING, but I have never heard of tentacles before...

Alright everyone, I have good news and bad news.

Ze good news is after going for anozher vave attempt against ze sewer spy, me, GRN Pyro, and ze Scouts active managed to injure it enough for us to follow a blood trail to it's lair...

Bad new is... RED Scout got a little too carried avay vith SLVR Scout's FaN vhile ze ozher vas using his Scattergun... some of ze monster's ink and blood got on him.. and zhen proceeded to snap him like a twig thus sending him to respawn and vell because of ze abnormality and ze improbability of having to explain it all vith how Respawn vorks and....

Okay, short answer: RED Scout's got tentacles too. Rest assure zhis IS temporary, it just depends on ze random number of times he needs to respawn to remove ze foreign... ligaments.

>>892
[This note is splattered with ink]
You'd better be fucking right about this bein' temporary, doc. I don't wanna have GRN Py have to carry me around like this for the rest of my fucking life (I like ya and all, pal, but I need my space sometimes).
So yeah, according to GLD and RED doc (yeah, we found him in the sewers too. He's cool. Just smells like shit.), I gotta respawn over and over till these fucking things disappear.
Line up, chuckleheads. Who wants to shoot me in the head first?

>>893
It's not like I enjoy having to carry you around! The damn things keep moving and tripping me and there's ink fucking everywhere. You're lucky I can tolerate you, or you'd still be stuck in that kiddie pool.

>>893

I'd shoot ya if it wasn't for the fact I can't stop laughing every time I see ya try to walk down the hall! HA Ha Ha! Oh I can barely write this, it's so fucking hilarious! You're now the team's bicycle!

>>897
Oh, you are so getting a kick in the head once I get my real feet back, SLVR fag. Now get your ass over here and kill me.

>>896
I'll be good, I promise. Don't put me back in the pool, please!

[the note isn't too wet, but reeks like the dickens anyway]

Oi... I made it.... If you need me, I'll be in our medic's office, so long as he refrains from killing me for zhis...

>>902
Oh my god
Where the hell have you been!? Are you alright?

>>898
If I put you in a wheelchair for a bit, do you think you could keep from getting caught in the wheels again?

>>903
Oh HELL no! I ain't no damn cripple! I do not need a wheelchair. Fuck you. And your gay-ass spy boyfriend.
Go ahead. Ditch me to...do whatever it is two dudes together. AGAIN. See if I care.

>>906
What? No! Its not like- he's not-
He's been missing for weeks! I just want to see if he's alright! Id bring you along, but I know you don't like him!

I can wait until he's well enough to say what's up, alright?

>>907
Whatever.

Shit, guys, how long was I out? I pass out in GLD team's infirmary, and wake up to RED scout having freakin' tentacles where his legs should be! Not to mention my whole team being shocked to find that I hadn't been snapped in two by that... tentacle... spy... thing...

Seriously guys, It wasn't all that long was it?