Seeing as I am a veteran myself, I demand all my recruits to give me the proper respect. And ribs. Ribs ARE mandatory. A lack of ribs will result in cleaning duties for at least a month and a kick in your unamerican bottom. I will NOT tolerate a shortage of ribs!

>>46
I'll make ribs for you if you would like? Everyone's invited to BLK Pyro's feast!

>>47
I can only accept wellmade All American ribs. You better know how to make them or you WILL regret it!

*Braaaaaaap*
Wus 'at? A feast ye say? I'll bring da hooch.

>>54
How's this? Got everything! Every utensil that touched them is made in America, the grill is made in America, the sauce is made from American products, the ribs are 100% USDA grade cattle... I took everything into account. Because then our Solly would refuse to eat it.

>>57
Damn those look might fine. I'm bringing the most American food there is.... Twinkies.
Speakin' of which, do ya think our Solly will like this here medal I made him fer today?

>>57
These are acceptable. You are honoring your veterans properly. Well done, private!

>>59
I don't think you should give this to that hippie excuse of a Soldier, maggot. He is a civilian and a draft dodger and should get a haircut. Don't let your American work get to waste. Give it to me instead.

Gods... I can't eat another bite from last night... I'm STILL full from it.

Well The cork board looks cleaner, but it's a mite weird without all the stuff on the wall.

>>68
I know, right? It was not pleasant finding Spy's underwear on it though....

>>71
May I ask what you did with said underwear?
I would like them back, if you don't mind.

Note that your undergarments do not belong onto the wall at any given time. Especially not if it's frilly and girly as in your case!

>>73
But alas, never as frilly and girly as your own dear Soldier.
Or should I say Jane?

>>72
They are back in your room. Had to move them with a five foot pole but they are in there.

>>74
...I'm really hoping you're just bluffing about his underwear. Really and truly.

>>76
Of course he is just bluffing about it, maggot. He is a filthy Frenchie, do I need to say more? I'm sure you as an All American man should know how much Frenchies love to lie and eat frogs.

D....dirty underwear? Bloody Spooks, no sense a' decency at all.

>>76
>>77
Interesting choice in colour monsieur Soldier.

>>84
Hah! That proves nothing, Frenchie scum! I can take pictures of Scout's frilly training bra with a note attached "THIS IS SPY'S UNDERWEAR", even that would have more meaning than your sad attempt at trying to fool righteous American men!

Now go back to eating frogs and having immoral relationships with Scout's mom(s) before your skull has a date with my shovel blade!

>>85
Don't ferget snails mate... don't ferget them. He eats snails too.

>>85 Yo! ahm glad i ain't BLU, no one... is touchin my ma!

>>86
I also enjoy Tripe.
>>87
I will let you find out on your own.

>>89
Is it like.... tradition ta always do a Scout's mom?

Look at that... that's beautiful

and im gonna get it stuck in your ass, spy...

>>94
Approved! We need more pictures of fine weaponry instead of girly loveletters on this board!

There you go. Appreciate it, pansies!

>>90
Not a tradition we are gonna keep up.

Honestly, where'd the Medics run off to? They usually help keep y'all from killing each other.

>>99
None too sure where our doc ran off to. Probably playing Sawbones somewhere, if I know him.

>>99
Jawohl?
Ach, seriously. I am gone for a few minutes, zinking zat you all could be civil. Clearly I forget who I am talk about at times.

>>90
I think one of the Spy once said it was like a... right of passage or something if I am correct?

With this by my side, I don't need a needlecrazy nazi playing babysitter!

>>102
Something of the sort. They are a wonderful group of women, I must say. Beautiful, intelligent, witty..
God only knows how they produced such crétins for children.

>>103
See if your Medic heals you next battle, Herr Soldier...

>>104 D:

get da fuck outta here, anonymous! you don't belong here, Asswipe!

fuckin anonymous was my name! now i'm gonna look sime kinda samefag, er some shit!

>>104
I sadly must agree vith you there, Herr Spy...

>>110
Just because those nice ladies are well-endowed does NOT mean we have t' jump on them like a bunch of sex-crazed teenagers.

>>112
Oh nien! Not like zat Herr Engineer! Vhat I meant vas I have to agree zat she is probably a nice voman.. zhe fact zat she spawned such a monstrosity is beyond me. Must I remind you, I'm married.

>>114
Ha! As if the meaning of marriage was any important to a sadistic nazi!

As for me, I shall forever be married to America as I joined the army to forever serve this proud nation.

>>115
Did you take your pills today, Herr Soldier? Your rambling again.

What's disturbing is you all write notes with your accents in check.

>>121
Maybe it's natural? Some people write how they talk! I tend to do that sometimes, which is kinda why I tend to ramble a bit...

>>122
That's completely different, mate. I mean, we're all used to hearing ourselves bitch and moan, so we wouldn't write it like that too. Folks don't hear their own accents.

>>129
Then I have no idea.. maybe someone rewrites them?

>>133
Could be. One of the Spies probably goes around and does it.

What does BLK stand for?

>>136
BLK? Banking and Legal Keepers. Our branch makes contracts for all the mercenaries, keeps the public unaware and ensures that we get proper workers rights (seeing as the unions wouldn't be too pleased with any of us being out here)

>>140
Oh those Unions...

Say, it's almost Thanksgiving... who's cooking?

>>141
I got my grandma's recipe for cranberry sauce and I know how to make a decent green bean casserole. Can someone (besides pyro) make the turkey?

No offense, but I'd prefer not to let any of you too close to fire where thanksgiving dinner's concerned.

>>142
Us in general or Pyros? I don't mind making a turkey.

>>143
I meant the Pyros. Go right ahead son, we still need mashed potatos, stuffing [a long list of grocery items follows] and peas.

I know what I'm going to be doing for the next few days.

Thanksgiving is a wonderful All American tradition.
Proceed.

.... What the hell is Thanksgiving?

>>144
I'm perfectly willing to help out with some of the cooking, if you need any extra hands in there. Seems there's a lot of people to feed now, huh?

>>147
To try and prevent an outburst from RED Soldier, let me offer a definition.
Thanksgiving:
An event held on the fourth Thursday in November in the United States; commemorates a feast held in 1621 by the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag.
Traditional foods include turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, etc.

I would offer to help with the festivities, but
[The rest of the note has been torn off]

>>144
I'll take the mashed potatoes, stuffing and pies. Alrighty, y'all... what kinda of pies do you want this Thanksgiving? Already making my famous apple pie, so need to worry about that.

>>150
Doesn't matter. Just make sure no one spits in it, Truckie.

>>150
You think ahead. Very good, recruit. A Thanksgiving without apple pie is NOT tolerable!

>>150
I think maybe a blackberry pie might be the ticket.

>>148
We can use all the help we can get partner. I count at least four teams, each of nine people, so a minimum of 36 people...whoo this year is going to be a doozy.

>>151
Course not. I watch my food like a hawk. Especially since last year when Scout thought it was funny to spit in Spy's food... which accidentally went to Medic.... who didn't know it was Scout.... I'm just going to shut up now...

>>155
VHAT?! That vas HIM?! [Unintelligible scribbling in German followed. Only the words 'Death', 'Bonesaw' and 'Hounds' could be translated or read.]

>>155
>>156
Good job, you startled the nurse. Someone is gonna wake up with a needle sticking out of their arm again.

>>157
Thank god for sedatives? I don't know what to say to that partner, but maybe we should let bygones be bygones? After all, it's a new year fellers.

>>158
Bah... Sedatives don't work on doc. He's a bit... immune.. where's Heavy when you need him?

>>159
Hoo boy. Looks like we might have to do some Medic wrangling, mayhaps?

...any of you got some rope?

>>160
Who needs rope, we got extension cords don't we?

>>161
Good point! I reckon it's time to start this rodeo before he goes after that Scout and does something we'll have to clean up.

>>161
Who needs rope, I have a shovel!

>>164
We're not trying to kill him, you drongo.

>>160
>>161
>>162
Guess that's handled then.

>>164
Now c'mon Solly. If you ain't civil (At the very least during the dinner tonight) I'll tell your egualizer why you ain't been using her in battles lately.

Well, Doc's all patched up and calm. All my food is cooked. Got Apple pie, Blueberry pie,Blackberry pie, Pecan pie, Pumpkin pie, and my Gran's recipe of Shoo Fly pie.

Bird has been done and ready.

>>170
I of course don't know what you are talking about but you have a point. Thanksgiving is a tradition I can respect, All American as it is.

>>171
Also I have to say, you deserve a medal for that food of yours. Well done, private!

Damn I'm stuffed. Good job at the cookin' boys. My compliments to the chefs.

>>175
Glad you enjoyed it. Wasn't sure which one of you boys made the sweet potatoes but I appreciate it.

>>175
Seconding that. That whole thing pulled together real nice, and I'm glad we pulled it off! Whoever made that stuffing should get some extra points, because that was delicious.

All I can say is that the mission was a success. While I don't condone fraternizing with the enemy in any way I must admit that you all did this wonderful American day justice with your cooking. I'll spare you this time, maggots!

>>178
I think you're getting soft.

THAT THANKSGIVING FEAST WAS...TOLERABLE. IT NEEDED MORE APPLE PIE. AND FIREWORKS. BUT BESIDES THAT, OKAY.

>>179
Soft? SOFT?! COME OVER AND SAY THAT TO MY SHOVEL BLADE YOU FROGMUNCHING FAGGOT!! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU WON'T GET EVEN A LICK OF SLEEP ON AMERICAN SOIL UNTIL I GOT YOUR SKULL ON MY TROPHY WALL

>>180
ALSO I KNOW THIS WAS YOU YOU DAMN FRENCHIE I DID NOT WRITE THIS NOTE! STOP COPYING ME AT ONCE OR I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY BUTT SO HARD MY BOOT WILL SHOOT OUT OF YOUR LYING SNOUT

>>181
Oh monsieur! Why would I ever do such a thing? Copying you, how ridiculous.

If that were me, I would have done a better job. Anyone could be a better Soldier.

>>182
Stop it. Now. Go back to your room, Herr Spy und leave the man alone.

>>181
My apologies for his actions, Herr Soldier.

>>183
I think you just want the Soldier alone, Docteur.

>>184
Now hold on there Spy. This is no place for you to be bringing stuff like that up.

You also ain't got a leg to stand on, since you admitted to some mighty odd things after you drank yourself silly at the feast.

>>184
Your are trying my patience. Nien, I do not vant him alone. Go, now. I am keeping order in my team, und you are not helping.

>>185
Zat if fine, Herr Engineer. I just von't heal him next battle.

>>185
You are a poor Spy checker, laborer. Why ever would I spent any moment with any of you outside of battle, hm?

>>190
I was not aware the team belonged to you, Docteur.

>>197
Now you listen boy and listen good, I can spycheck damn well. I have bigger priorities than avoiding you crazy spies though, so I gotta rely on old mumbles to help me out.

Besides, if I recall I ain't the one who got set on fire twice in under five minutes.

>>198
Yep! That's why I hang around Engi and the Intel room!

>>197
Now, listen up you. One, it's not good to talk to your Doctor like that. He heals you. Number two, stop harassing Engi. Before I come over there to find you, light you on fire while your Medic is standing there laughing, and your begging him to help you and he refuses to help you.

>>182
YOU AND YOUR SNAILLOVING FRENCHIE FRIENDS CAN'T EVEN GET CLOSE TO MY PROUD AMERICAN WAYS BY A MILE AND YOU KNOW IT YOU ABOMINATION OF A FIGHTER

>>183
ALSO YOU KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU BOOTLICKING SCUM WHEN EVEN YOUR TEAM NAZI HAS BETTER MANNERS AND MORE RESPECT FOR GOOD AMERICAN MEN THAN YOU

>>200
Whoa, whoa, take it easy there, Solly. Don't need to go around yelling at everyone. Just 'cause we're paid to kill eachother doesn't mean we can't act civilized, right?

>>200
Soldier, we don't know nothing about what the medics did or didn't do. It ain't polite to go around calling people 'nazis' because they're German.

For all you know he was part of the French Foreign Legion, or a civilian.

>>201
Just do your job and give that Frenchie scum the scars of his lifetime! Burn that smug grin off!

>>203
Your lack of knowledge disappoints me and your nation! While I appreciate the fact that he seems to heal us without second thoughts he might as well still plan nazi things behind our back. You can NEVER be careful enough! He might try to stick a needle up your American backside in your sleep!

>>204
I assure you, Herr Soldier, I only focus on the well being of mien team. Thus, if I need to fight so be it.

>>197
Vhat? You thought YOU controlled this team?! HA! Nien!

>>204
Telling me to 'just do my job' isn't very nice, y'know. Good things don't usually happen to people who aren't nice.

You all bicker like kids.

>>209
And your jus' a sweet little angel..... This is sarcasm, jus' in case ya didn't know.

[this piece of paper is burnt at the edges and smells of gasoline]

Boys, someone has been messing with my gear. Namely the new incendiary modifications for my sentries. Now fess up- who was it?

>>237
Uh.. do I wanna know what happened? All I saw was a huge fireball coming from your base.. Thought your Pyro was cooking for a second.

>>237
So THAT'S why I was smelling roasted flesh all day? I already thought there was a barbeque and I was NOT invited!