>>12000
12k GET? Also,I want that book.

Nice GET, OP.

So here i am!

Lol What, so...sorry the spam, but looks like my ban vanished, hehe.

>>12005
yeah,sorry, we thought you were this other dude when you weren't.

Woke up this morning to realize that, not only did I leave both my binder and my wallet at my boyfriend's house, but that I only had enough gas to get me TO school (or boyfriend's house, same distance) but not back. So I just went and hung out with him for a little while.

Not sure why, but something is telling me that I just really wasn't supposed to go to school today. It probably sounds like a really dumb attempt at wishful thinking, but... I can't shake the feeling that something was trying to stop me from going.

Oh well, didn't miss anything important anyway!

So I'm moving to Tennissee, because my father has gifted me a house.

You know what this means?

SELL EVERYTHING ON CRAIGSLIST!

>>12006


Excuse me, Eudevier, but i can't post in the adult fanfiction board because apparently i am still banned. Can you help me?

>>12011
wait a second, arn't you 15? how'd you get unbanned?!

>>12012

But you just said you realized your mistake...

You said it >>12006

Oh lord. This is minding my fuck.

(What am i suppose to do? Should i appeal anyway?)

>>12005
>>12006
>>12011
>>12012
>>12014

Oh, God, this is hilarious and depressing at the same time.

Stay strong, Error.

>>12014
http://watch-me-ris3.tumblr.com/ is this your tumblr?
I thought for a second you were someone else. you're not. the person I was thinking of was another guy.

>>12016


So, this is one of the mistakes. I don't own a tumblr, hehe. In terms of social network, i have my steam account and Google+(or some shit, i don't use it).

I suppose you see in it i'm not underage, though: my account is from past year, when the Google+ wasn't allowing underaged people.

So, i guess everything is settled down right? Can i now post at the Adult Boards, pretty please?

(Btw, the mistake was fuckin' funny lol. I mean...the dude whom you guys mistook me is pretty weird, hehe.)

>>12018
it should let you post now.

>>12015
>not posting anymore
>clearly still here
>suddenly posting just to stir shit

stay classy TR

>>12019


Positive, i just did it. Thank ya for the help!

>>12021
Who said I wasn't posting anymore? I never said that. Sure, I may not be posting as much, but then again, who is? I'm still amused by the fact that I've done nothing to you - hardly even acknowledged your existence, and yet you feel a need to give a snarky reply to every little thing I say.

stay classy? Never planned on stopping. Looks like you could take a note, though.

>>12023
>Who said I wasn't posting anymore? I never said that.
i can make my own observations
>Sure, I may not be posting as much, but then again, who is?
I am
>I'm still amused by the fact that I've done nothing to you - hardly even acknowledged your existence
thats the thing about posting i public, you dont have to acknowledge someone for them to read what you post
>and yet you feel a need to give a snarky reply to every little thing I say.

>1 post
>everything

>stay classy? Never planned on stopping. Looks like you could take a note, though.
thou doth protest too much, mehtinks

>>12023
eh,it's just his personality. he does it to me as well sometimes in steam chat.
BACK TO FEELS:
Mom has tomorrow off instead of Sunday, so after work today we're gonna have her dinner(I'm making steak,bakers,corn, and croissants)
also custom'd a card where the front has a sleeping mom on a couch mumbling "you missed a spot, let me get that for you." with one of the two kids remarking "Wow!Mom even thinks about us in her sleep!"
Open the card and the mom is dreaming about a hot guy on a beach. used an exacto-knife to put Thor's head on there since she fangirled over him so much.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

BIRTHDAY TIME

>>12032

So, i heard you thought i was underage, so you could permaban me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo

Okay, okay, i hope you have some sense of humor.
So, you really didn't read my opinions, any single one of them, and jumped to that conclusion? Or you just don't get what i said (is my english that bad)? Because, you know, you banned me...well, basically because i don't think like you.

Can you...you know, care to explain this? I don't intend to fight or be impolite with you, don't worry, i just want to understand. I hope there's no problem at all if you, or any other mod, could clarify this to me. It's just a question.

>>12033
Sorry! that was our bad! I forgot to tell Ashe to look at the feelings thread.

>>12034

Haha, don't worry, i noticed that. It happens, it's no big deal.

But now i was banned again...and i just don't think the reason is ...well, fair. I know it's just temporary, but... well,anyway, i just want to clarify stuff.

(I really don't want to make a mess, though. I just want to talk).

I don´t want to rely on the fact that alcohol is one thing which let´s me relax and brings me in a good mood.

Good things which happened: Fuck yeah i have a insurance again. God i´m happy, let me kill my liver now.

Didn´t talk to a friend of mine for quite a while now. Which let´s me feel unbalanced somehow. I´m not used to be the sarcastic part in our dynamic.

My body hates me and punishes me with pain, feeling nausea and like i would collapse any moment.

I can´t bring myself to feel much anymore and i don´t want. I´m really really tired of feelings so i just try to act against them or surpress it.

Getting still guilt tripped easily. Goes so far i don´t even want to talk anymore out of fear people get offended by the smallest sentence.

Fuck life.

Got my hair cut. Images to follow soon, but feelings first.

Holy shit I can feel the wind on my neck. I haven't felt that in more than ten years.
13 inches of hair, gone. Goodness. I feel good about it, though. Some little girl with cancer will get a nice wig, and I have a snazzy new haircut.

<--- Novi and I.
Sciencing it up.

>>12026
>1 post
>everything

Okay, really? Are we REALLY doing this now?

http://tf2chan.net/offtopic/res/11081.html#11882
http://tf2chan.net/offtopic/res/11081.html#11953
http://tf2chan.net/inception/res/891.html#897

And that's just all the ones I could remember off the top of my head. So, in short, I'd just appreciate it very much if you would stop talking to me in general, kthnx, because just the sight of your name pisses me off.

I don't even know what your problem is - I used to like you (especially your gmod stuff), but I guess you've started flaming me since that little dispute, in an idiotic attempt to get in good graces with the mods (?) and become one yourself. Or maybe you got a really bad papercut, but didn't notice until you rubbed on some hand sanitizer. Who the fuck knows. I don't care. I just want you to kindly step off.

Ugh. I'm in such a pissy mood today. Work was a nightmare. Had people flooding in to get some last-minute, half-assed Mother's day shit (along with all the other weekend regulars), and breaks kept coming late, and lines were five people long. I swear, I almost started having a panic attack. I love my job, I love my customers, and I love people, but maybe I have a fear of crowds or something - iunno - cause I was ALL wound up. I swear - is you put a lump of coal up my ass, I'd squeeze it into a diamond in ten seconds flat. Also, when I got home, mom asked me to water the lawn for some reason, even though it was raining. That was all sorts of embarrassing. People kept looking at me as they drove by. There was this one really nice lady, though, who complimented our yard, which was nice.

I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow. I hope mom doesn't drag me to church in the morning. Even though I'd rather kill a rabbit with nothing but my bare hands and teeth, there's no way I could say no, especially with it being mother's day and all. Here's hoping she forgets I don't have work until the evening.

Also, I should probably get some sleep - I sound deranged.

>>12042
Fuck, that was me.

>>12042
>links
i probably would have replied the same way, no matter who had posted those. its nothing personal, but they fact that they're all replying to you probably says more about you than me

>get in good graces with the mods (?) and become one yourself
oh please, they know me too well for that

>>12045
He's right. he's only mod on mancraft and that's because he plays on it more and we can undo shenanigans with worldedit. He was only gonna become a mod if the Mayans were right. which actually it turns out they found another calendar making it longer than 2012, so yeah,unless the chan and him are immortal, he will never become a mod.
onto feels: seriously body wtf, wake up with sinus headache,neckache, AND hiccups? what are you even doing. stop.

>>12035
Basically these bans act as part of a filter between whiny fanbrat behavior and desired behavior on the chan. "don't like,don't read" is heavily suggestive of fanbrat behavior. only time "don't like don't read" is acceptable is going into an adult thread when you don't like adult stuff to begin with. or if you hate a particular pairing and go up in there and raise a fuss.
When people who /like/ rapefic even think a fic is terrible, "don't like don't read" sounds very childish.

>>12048

But in the case that was being discussed at the Adult Board, about the fanfic (you know, probably, hehe), i was explaining that the expression could be used in that cases when you don't like a TYPE of fanfiction, more or less like in the example you gave. People weren't enjoying the way the writer was portraiting the characters, and the only reason they were giving is that because they can't see them in that way, which does not explain a thing because...you know... no one around here owns the canon things of the game, much less the fandom. When they complain that the characters were too superficial and there weren't no development, they were right. But when they start to say that the fanfic is not good just because they can't see them that way...well, makes no sense as a criticism. That's the point i was trying to explain (and btw, no one was getting it).

The mod who banned me not only didn't try to understand this pretty obvious point, but also didn't talk to me to explain why i was wrong, to refute my opinions, to try to prove himself right, etc etc. Like you just did. Like it's suppose to happen in a good conversation. He just wanted me to be quiet.

Apparently, he's unable to hold a conversation against a different point of view that he disagrees, in a mature way, without abusing power(oh lord, this is funny), don't you agree?

This is pretty childish by itself.

>>12052
actually, yes they did:
""Don't like, don't read" is /never/ a valid argument to ignore criticism. If you genuinely think it is, go back to Sparkledog Central and their hugbox; we deal in constructive criticism and acceptable debate rather than 24/7 asspats."

>>12054

First: he said it AFTER he banned me. So, after the punishment was already made. During the conversation set in the board, he never said a word to me.

Second: this isn't a retort to any of my opinions. He didn't take in count the reasons i gave why is reasonable not to take your on personal view of the characters in an argument against a fanfic because it makes no sense, since it's individual pov.

Third: He didn't even take in consideration that i said, at least twice, that all the other reasons that people are doing the criticism about that fanfiction were good points (meaning, then, that i agree with well made criticisms).

Fourth: srsly, am i making myself clear about the opinion towards the characterization and individuals imagination stuff? Is my english that bad? Or you guys don't want to discuss the point i'm making at all? I mean, i'm doing it not just because i don't agree with some of the stuff that have been discussed in the adult fanfiction board, but also because my pov about the characters is completely different from the majority of the fandom. So, even if i write nice fanfictions, you will all say for me to erase the whole thing and change everything just because we-can't-see-the-characters-the-way-you-do-so-your-story-is-not-good.

It would be a shame. I mean, don't you guys agree that the more different and unique interpretations of the characters we have, more nice fanfiction (porn porn pooorn fuckin good porn) we'll have around here?

(btw, Eudevie, i'm really glad that at least you seems to be willing to discuss. Thank ya, so, i guess).

>>12055
>First: he said it AFTER he banned me. So, after the punishment was already made. During the conversation set in the board, he never said a word to me.
that was the reason given for the ban, on the ban report. That is how bans work.
Characterization notwithstanding, people have a right to say if they think something is out of character or not. discouraging such is highly frowned upon here.

>>12055
also, your ban is over tomorrow. any further discussion in this thread would further derail it. Please leave anything more in the ask box under "ask the mods" on the front page.

>>12057

Hum...okay, i'll give it a shot later, then.

I hope it works.

So I've finally gotten nearly everything worked out as far as moving out goes. I've got rent money, a decent chunk of start-up cash, a car, a phone and plan, and a solid job. All I gotta do now is actually get an apartment. Time to start applying!

Only thing left to do besides that is find car insurance... gotta go in and talk to an agent. Hopefully that accident won't make it TOO much higher.

All boyfriend's gotta do is get his ID and get a job, but easier said than done, given the DMV has the wrong social security number in their system or some shit. I'm not sure what he means by that but it's a pain in the ass to fix apparently.

>>12046

> trying to meet up with friends
> need to distract self of bad feelings
> gosh i´m so excited, i´m going to prepare for it days before it happens so that it will be all jolly sitting together and...
> friends all say no than on the day it was planned

I wish i had the energy to just sit there and sob. Whhhhyyyyy. But the world doesn´t care. Also friends don´t really care if i´m heartbroken and emotional wounded, but still come to me with their problems. Yeah for that i´m good enough, but wanting to just have some funtime with me without going into a emotional festival isn´t good enough.


Still can´t talk to friend until wednesdays. Need to go to doc on thursday to get recipt for other doc.

Stay away from alcohol in the moment. Stay far far far away from it.

I hate that someone I know keeps telling me there my best friend but actually doesn't give a shit about me.

It took me forever to realize she only considered me her best friend for the moment, instead of, you know, being her best friend for the sake of being her best friend.

I just really wish she meant it. Like actually meant it. I know you can have more than one best friend and all that jazz, but when you tell some one that they ARE one of those friends, you should mean it. You really really should because to some people that mean a lot to them.

>>12065
Maybe they've been busy or sick as of late. They might really like you, after all, but they're doing a shitty way of showing it.

I know I've been in that boat myself as of late, and I worry I'm becoming the person who looks like they don't care, but I do.

>>12066

Hey, this is the anon from before. Thanks, I've been wondering that as of late.

I just want to feel needed I guess, and part of me is worried I'm gonna be like....one of those really sad old people who are alone and have a bunch of cats.

Except the cats aren't friendly like other peoples cats. They just pee everywhere like jerks.

>>12067

No problem. If you need someone to talk to, I can give you my Steam. I definitely know that feel, and I don't want anyone else having to go through it, alright?

You'll be alright.

Watched some of my favorite funny videos with a buddy of mine who A.) is a bit of a perpetual frowner and B.) I've been struggling to find middle ground with for a while. He enjoyed them and laughs were had, so I can say that it's been a pretty good day.

>>12064
>>12065
I know the feeling, dudes. I find it hard to keep a steady group of friends, much less try not to take it very personally and seriously if we don't see each other for a while, even though I know that, logically, we all have our own legitimate reasons for not seeing each other. If you'd like, I could share my skype/email. I'm not around often on either, but I'd be more than willing to listen when I am. Just, whatever you do, don't start resenting your friends, or yourself. It's alright to feel angry or sad, though, but hang in there, guys.

MCM is so soon and I haven't finished my bat. Excuse me while I freak out. Also my provisional driving licence came in the post today! Hybrid's gonna be on wheeeeeels yeah!

>>12079
Lol incomplete cosplays. I have like a million things to sew and paint and glue and not enough tiiiiiiiime.
Con's a week from Friday though :D so much excite.

I hope the Large Hadron Collider can get to the bottom of how much wood that woodchuck would indeed propel if he had the capacity to.

>>12084
I hope they never find the Higgs Boson.
Then I will have a valid excuse to not remember anything from high-school science classes: it will all be wrong.

(...I feel fine. 'N stuff. My college final project is due next week and my sketchbook isn't half as full as I need it to be. The project itself isn't half done either but that's fine because it's all about the process, right? I don't feel pressured anymore. All my best work is done at the very last moment, it's how I roll.)

So, I'm living with my grandmother. I mowed well over an acre of land for that woman (with a pushmower) so she wouldn't have to, then when I ate at dinner, she called me fat. Thanks, Grandma.

Besides that, I've found that I'm jealous of my little sister. Se has a mother who would never hit her, MY father, who is an incredible person, she goes where she wants, she's adorable...and she makes me feel like shit when I'm too tired to run around with her.

Seriously, she knows just what buttons to push to make me feel like a terrible human. I mean, I'm sorry that I want time to myself to enjoy having internet again, and to talk to my girlfriend. I forgot that ALL of my time must be spent making Lil' Sis happy.

So, I feel fat and selfish. I suck.

Tomorrow my short lived facebook account which I used mostly for school stuff is gonna get deactivated, and I kinda sorta want to do a last minute reanimation, but at the same time I don't want to deal with some bullshit, yet I sorta do (that's why I plainly just hadn't un-liked buncha peeps), even though it brought mostly more resentment towards some people I used to respect/wanted to keep a 'friendly' tab on.

Also sorta have the opportunity to move to US for 3months? I have a foster family already willing to take me in at least for the beginning, we'll see how it goes, this will def gonna be an awesome experience if it works out.

>>12092

you coming to the US Teapot? Welcome to the U.S. of A! Where there's lot of fatty foods and unhealthy eating. Kidding, it's not as extravagant as TV makes it seem, but seriously, deep fried Snickers? C'mon guys.

Something to know = Apparently, other countries view us as REEEEAAAAL freindly. Lot's of hugs - the land of the free hugs. Be prepared for lots of handshakes and "hiiii how arrrree youuuuu?" And if you take public transport...don't talk to people. Just don't. People on the bus are crazy. Wear headphones. Be assertive. Look disinterested in people.

Oh yeah, go to an all American diner. Get a burger and fries and a milkshake. Not at Mcdonalds. Get our trademark food done right! (If you go to Milwaukee Wi, go to Rock Bottom. It's a delicious, delicious restaurant.) Also, get the americanized version of your countries food. Go to Taco bell or get chinese or wherever your from. It'll be worth a laugh. Tastes good too!

Oh, and our news sources are stupid. Screw politics- there are free copies of The Onion in a lot of cities, pick up that!

I'm feeling patriotic now! I'm gonna go do something involving Soldier. I'm feeling suitably Solly today.

>>12094
Oh hey thanks for the first hand tips! About the mp3 - already doing that after having to listen to four different life stories told by complete strangers including a total conspiracy nutjob, and helping old ladies get the groceries to their homes because goddamit, you can't say no there.

I'll keep all that in mind, although I'm kinda regretting the fact that I'll probably be stuck in North Carolina, and we all know how 'great' it is there now. As for local food my best bet would be to get it in Chicago or NY, but as far as I've heard it's at least good.
And when it comes to news feeds I already don't care about it here, just enough to know for whom to vote.

FUCKING RELATIONSHIPS I don't know if i can get into them. There's this guy that likes me, and he's putting a -lot- of effort. Before I knew about his intentions, I was his friend for a year. I ignorantly thought he was just being a nice guy, but then it turns out that he likes me. And honestly, I think he'd make a great boyfriend, but the thought of putting myself in a relationship makes me want to run the other way. I don't know if I can open myself up to someone.

I feel like I should just jump into the relationship sea and see where that takes me but I also feel like ignoring the whole issue until it goes away.

>>12101
Ah this ship, lets sail it shall we?
You know the guy, he is genuinely making an effort for you, he is a nice guy Im betting and you are not totally against the idea of dating him as well.
All these considered, is there any reason not to date him besides it being your first? There is no reason not to take it slow if you prefer, even explaining to him "Lets be careful and take our time"

You know him, he is nice, and you may like him as well, sounds like the perfect person to start dating, heck, surely dating a random you hardly know would go a lot worse?

>>12103
It's true, there is a little attraction there on my end, but in all honestly, the thought of upgrading the relationship to -RELATIONSHIP- status, scares me. I don't want to have to deal with him constantly trying to call me and hang out with me. I'm a very introverted person, and hanging out with him more than twice a week exhausts me.

The only thing i can say that's negative about him is that he has this issue with being attracted to people with a lot of issues. He likes psychoanalyzing people, and 'fixing' people (whther they want him to or not), which gets on my nerves when he tries to do it to me. He tries to get me to talk about my 'feelings and issues' all the time. He also talks a lot about this and that, while I prefer the quiet and the companionship.

For example, once we went hiking together, for 3 hours. And he talked non-stop. I mean c'mon, dude.

Forgive me, for I think I lost my marbles.

So last night, bf and I were getting pretty heavy into the flirting, and I'm still rather butterflied about the whole 'OMG I HAVE A BOYFRIEND LOOK WE'RE FLIRTING' aspect, so it shot me into a panic attack. Felt sick all night.

Told him about it today, and without me even having to ask to maybe take it a little slower, he offered to. He's perfectly understanding about the whole thing, and completely supportive.
Best. Boyfriend. Ever.

But dear god I wish my stomach would stop being such a bitch about everything. I love butterflies, but not when they're having an orgy in my intestines.

I'm in art school, and while I'm doing okay with the actual drawing stuff (which is more of what I want to do for a career anyways), I'm not grasping the graphic design classes as much. There's no class on "what is good design", and I was wondering if anyone had a book suggestion or some links to show me.

>>12107
I think art is expressing what is inside you whereas design is reflecting what's already out in the world. Usually it's to solve a problem or convey a particular message. My teachers tell me good design is about stripping away all unnecessary elements, whether it be the serifs on your fonts or the flowery background that you're using 'just because'. I guess good design is eliminating the superfluous and leaving behind a clean, clear message.

I was really positive about a lot of people in this community until I actually sat down and read some of the threads around the board. I don't know why it annoys me so much to see people I admire(d) act like insufferable cunts to each other, but when I see how much drama goes on around this site over stupid bullshit it just makes me want to bang my fucking head on a wall. Watch me get banned for saying that. Or maybe for saying this.

That aside, I got a kitten recently. This should bring me a lot of joy, but I realized once I got the kitten home that I'm not ready for a pet. He's frustrating. Too active, too noisy. I alternate between being intensely angry with him and beguiled. I lost my patience with him today and locked him in the cat carrier and left the room for an hour.

That scares me for one reason: he was frightened and struggling to get out. He was hungry and probably thirsty. And I did not fucking care. I left him even though he was howling to get out. My husband wasn't home to let him out. I was completely apathetic about leaving a helpless living creature in a tiny fucking cage for an hour. If I can do that to a living thing that needs my love and care, what else can I do?

The worst part is that I don't even feel that guilty over it. He makes me angry more often than he makes me happy. I don't enjoy having a pet like I thought I would. I don't feel a lick of love for this kitten. I've told my husband that I'm seriously considering taking it back to the pound, but my husband will absolutely not let me. He loves the kitten. I do not. I spend most of the day alone in the house with this animal and I apparently have no pretenses about abusing it. I'm concerned for my state of mind and I'm concerned for the kitten. I don't have very good impulse control.

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I don't want to be responsible for the death of this poor unfortunate creature should I lose control of my own shitty temper. I hope this post doesn't make anyone want to track my IP and drop my dox to animal services or something.

(I like cats a hell of a lot more than I like you.)

>>12110
P.S. I probably just invalidated my already mostly useless comment about the community by making everyone think that I'm a brooding, melodramatic animal abuser.

>>12110
>I hope this post doesn't make anyone want to track my IP and drop my dox to animal services or something.

haha

die

>>12110
Ya need a shrink mate

Oh GOD. It's been SO LONG, internet!

Let's never fight again, baby.

<3

If my brother complains once more about not having a computer mouse, I'm going to throw one of the four I have at his head.

Also my car pretty much blew up. Kind of pissed off about that. Especially 'cause my dad refuses to fix it. Douchenugget.

Going to a con today! I am super excited because I get to hang out with a lot of my friends and some really cool con buddies! Plus I get to see my boyfriend for the first time since March! If I seem calm, it's only because I cannot put into words how fucking excited I am. I feel like my brain is bouncing around inside my skull and honestly, short of heading off to the con (doesn't start for a few hours) I want nothing more than to dance.

Found the three most amazing roleplay partners ever.
Hnnng. That feel.

If you read this, I hope ya'll know who you are ♥

>>12135
Oh, I do love that feel. Haven't felt it in a while, since I've had the same partners for a few months+ now, but still. It is a nice feel when you like them instantly.
I should get some new partners. I'm down to two and a half, now, because others are I guess busy with work and life and stuff. Pfft. Life.


SO. Feelings.
I work at a coupon clearinghouse, as I may have said before. We all have these little half-cubicle desk things, with a computer, a printer, and our scanners for the coupons.
Now, I'm only a contract worker, so bottom of the totem pole. One of the full-time people gets moved to my desk, and gets my good red scanner, leaving me stuck with a crappy blue one. (The blue ones aren't as sensitive, and almost never scan cardboard, so my hourly rate has dropped like a stone)
Worst part? Full time lady never wanted to move. She was perfectly content where she was. No one has any idea why our manager moved her.
Also, spent half an hour at the end of the day, cleaning my new desk. JESUS CHRIST. I swear, there's enough lint and dust under there to make a very unattractive sweater. YUCK.
So yeah. Feel kinda peeved. Feel kinda grossed out. But on the bright side, I found out that I actually do like carrot cake cupcakes, now, so that's nice.

Lost 60 pounds, feels good man.

>>12136
Hey, hey.
I'm not busy with life

>>12138
O rly?

>>12139

Here, have the most obvious email ever.

>>12110

WOW! A. Kitten. made. you. angry.

kitten + you = angry

what what what what what what

but seriously, go fall in a hole. Kittens are not that god damn hard to deal with.

Feeling pretty good today.

I have made a big step and ascended once again.

>>12140
Feel free to add me on steam, too, if you want. Izzy41630.

Okay, WTF scanner.
We have quotas we have to make at my work. Currently, I'm supposed to be scanning 10,400 coupons a day. Now, my strategy, upon getting moved to my new station, is just to let myself suck normally, and let them cringe at the low numbers.
But GODAMNIT I got really good blue mail today, and ended up making 10,300.
Plan fail. Feels bad.
But at the same time happy, because that mail was SO FUCKING GOOD and usually I get crap.

I do not understand why, when I ask someone to tell me more about something they like, like a comic book or a celebrity I am unfamiliar with, I get the response "USE GOOGLE, DUMBASS". I'm standing right in front of you, and you can't recant the plot of a movie you just watched and give me a vague estimation of whether or not I'd enjoy it?

>>12144
Man, you must be traumatized if you're telling people IRL "google it dumbass".

namefagging, sorry.

Holy fuck I can't sleep lately. My life is just bizarre right now. It's 4:41 in the morning and i'm wide awake. What the fuck body? get tired, I have class today.

One of my in real life friends s following my tumblr (damn you auto correct!) and I really don't want her to. I really, REALLY don't want her to.

Like really really really REALLY REALLY don't want her too.

I just wanted my tumblr to be a place for ME. And not have to worry about the porn I reblog and the stupid fan fiction I write I just wanted privacy. i made my tumblr purposely anonymous too. I just want privacy from her because I feel like she thinks my whole life revolves around her or something. It makes me so god damn mad. Now I have to figure out something cause honestly that stuff was only meant to be shared with my online friends. Something that I didn't want anyone but you guys to see.

I know thats really stupid because it's the internet yaddayaddayadda and whatever but I just feel she looks down on everyone and she's just gonna judge me. It makes me so mad and I know its stupid but part of me just wants her to stop...doing things.

I NEED TO RANT I'M REALLY SORRY.

I hate her tumblr (damn you auto correct!) habits so god damn much sometimes. She constantly reblogs her own stuff on facebook and it makes me wanna punch walls. Yes! you drew a picture we get it. keep it off facebook it just makes you look like a douche. I don't care if you're trying to "get yourself out there" do it elsewhere, doing it on facebook just makes you look self centered. Stop reblogging your own stuff! stop posing for your profile picture. It makes you looks self obsessed, no one wants to see you making batty eyes at the camera! stop acting like an asshole when someone offers you a critique! You have no grasp on color theory so when I tell you somethings color makes no sense it makes no sense! fuck you i've been studying color theory for fucking years i know what i'm talking about. I hate how you dumb your art down because you think people are stupid and won't like you art unless you make it as stupid as possible! You have a good grasp on anatomy, quit throwing those skills away and drawing the easiest things possible! Quit talking shit about your followers! Stop pretending to like nerd stuff hardcore when you've only liked it for a week! You used to be so nice! What the fuck happened to you? You used to actually consider me your equal but now it feels like you think everyone is below you! You turned into such a colossal asshole in the past year and it makes me wanna punch babies it's so god damn annoying! drop all this hipster crap and be yourself again!

RANT OVER, I'm sorry tf2chan, I'm so sorry baby I won't hurt you no more. I promise.

My graphics card took a shit. everything artifacted like crazy.even firefox. Luckily, my grandma had given me 50bux for my birthday.

Had a great time at my con! Derped around as an Engineer with my sexy Sniper in tow.
My mother saw this picture and said, and I quote; "He looks like a male stripper and you look like a dyke. What business do you have with eachother?"
An amazing weekend was had. Can't wait for the next one!

1. Checks the state of bank account after buying even more work clothes.
2. Weeps.
3. Sends out job applications.
4.???
5. Profit! (hopefully)

So, I discovered that my father, who put on a really impressive, loving front, cares more for his girlfriend of one year than he does for me. I had to defend myself against her daughter's insults, and decided to vent on the phone to my sweetheart. During that vent, I called the kid a fucking brat, because she IS.

Seriously, she's 11 years old and she cussed me out because I wouldn't let her run across 4 lanes of traffic with no streetlight, crosswalk, or stop sign. I was looking out for her fucking SAFETY, for God's sake!

Oh, and THEN she told me that when I left, she was going to keep Snuggletooth, MY turtle. Where was I when this decisions was made? I was cussed out for telling her 'no' to that too, by the way.

So, after her mother eavesdropped on our conversation and heard me call her daughter a brat. Instead of...oh God, I don't know...TELLING me, she ordered my father to stop calling me, stop visiting me, and stop talking to me when he was around.

I had to BEG for someone to tell me what the fuck was going on, and when they did, I wasn't allowed to get a word in edgewise.

Yes, I shouldn't have called her a brat, but when an 11 year old girl calls me a fat bitch because I don't let her charge headlong into a horde of cars moving at 70 miles an hour, I get pissed.

So, I thought "Oh, well, I'm in the wrong, I'll call the mother and apologize." No dice. She wouldn't answer my calls, and all my dad would say is "Well maybe you should just go back to your mother."

Bear in mind, I wasn't staying with Dad and his squeeze. I was staying with Grandma, because the girlfriend didn't want to have a filthy turtle in the house. They told me to get the fuck out while I wasn't even WITH them.

All this, however, doesn't hold a candle to being accused of spying on my dad to get him thrown into jail because he hasn't paid ten years of child support. I went there because I love my dad and wanted to see him, nothing more. That accusation broke my heart, and thanks to the fact that no one trusted me, all my phone calls, I came to found out, were eavesdropped on, hence the angry mother.

So. Back in Hiawassee. Contemplating drinking until my liver explodes and kills me.

Too much work and no money. Where are the people with too much money and no work, and how do I become one of them?

My job can go fuck itself.

We have summer hours starting now, which means I have to work extra during the week, and get off Friday afternoons.
Now, I was told, all through my employment here, that these were OPTIONAL. That was fine with me, because I work on my mom's schedule, because I have no car. So what she works, I work.
Now I find out that they've decided to make it MANDATORY. And they tell us this the week before it starts, so I have two days to get an entirely new schedule together, involving dad picking me up some days, mom working extras, and me working like, 12 hours two days of the week.
FUN.

>>Me: "I don't know what to do, my parents and siblings keep getting really angry at me for stupid shit and threatening to kill me. I'm starting to get scared."
>>Psychologist/One of my friends: "AWWW THEY REALLY LIKE YOU, they just want to show you they're worried about you, that's all."

I...what.

When I was younger my mom took medication for her bi-polar because she tried to kill me as a baby, but it made her so... not-herself that she gave up the medication years ago. During that period it was tough on her and I (my dad was a working dad, wasn't around enough to have the same problems) because any time I tried to be adolescent and emotional she would get worked up and always overshadow all my feelings with hers... until I learned to just shut up and tuck all my feelings away. Which is how I ended up suffering through all sorts of peer abuse without anyone noticing for two years. And how I was nearly taken advantage of by teen boys and managed to go home and act like nothing happened.

Fast-forward to now when I'm a well-adjusted(?) young women and my little brother is going through his first stages of teenager.
> That feel when he tries to strangle me.
> That feel when he takes a metal baseball bat to a window because I trapped him on the other side of a glass door to get away from him when he's being violent.
> That feel when my mom has been calm for years and my brother manages to get her riled up again yesterday to the point she nearly leaves him where he is and drives home.
(I have quite a few memories of her leaving me on the side of the road.)

My brother is bi-polar, I'm pretty much certain of it. My grandpa had it too.

GAH.
>complicated feels
>jimmies rustled
>completely powerless in situation
>Worst of all I just kinda feel relieved deep down that it won't be my problem much longer.

This wouldn't be so heavy on my mind but the other day my mom had a small debate over a distant issue (circumcision, not relevant) and later she said, "You know, if it were a few years ago and you had disagreed with me like that I would have flown into a rage"... which struck a chord with me because the entire debate we had I was stepping around her like I always have. I didn't push my view too hard, I was always ready to back out and admit a meaningless defeat... basically, I don't know if she didn't get mad because of me or because of her. She gets frustrated with my bro a lot more than me. (Makes sense though, I'm not a teenager anymore.)

TL;DR there are two bi-polar people with a history of violence in my house and soon I'm not going to be there to be the serene, robotic medium.

In other news... the summer break has arrived! Woo! The heatwave around here has stopped and made way for the rain once again, thank god. I was dying. There goes England's yearly sole week of sun.

>>12156

>Psychologist

I suggest you find a new one.
What sort of psychologist answers with that? I'm still in school and I know that is NOT how you tackle that kind of statement or situation by a long shot.

I confided in my mom that I'd been thinking about cutting and that part of me doesn't understand why that is necessarily bad when everyone abuses themselves in some way. She claims she doesn't (Bull shit) and then says she has to "detach with love" cause I'm even thinking about this. So yeah thanks mom, glad I confided in you instead of bottling it up like I used to, that really made it better, being pushed away.

Fuck I can't even do what makes it better, talking about it, withought beeing treated like a fuck up. Yeah "detatch with love" you used that when you dumped me at the mental hospital mom.

I try to open up at the time of year I always do the worst mentally and get shut down cause of my "stinkin' thinkin'" I'm sorry we can't all just run away from out emotions mom and put on a happy face and be diseptive fucks like you who pretend that they aren't massive hypocrites.

Glad I fucking have an understanding mom.

So, I think I've got one or more impacted wisdom teeth. The whole left side of my jaw hurts unless I take paracetamol every 4 hours or so. And my medicare card doesn't cover dental care... here's hoping I can find an emergency dentist or dental school that'll do an operation (or just and x-ray) for free.
Ohhh wellll. Helped Ryojin and his brother move house over the weekend. That made me feel useful, at least. And the appointments with the psychologist are still going on. I don't feel as if I'm slipping into impending doom quite as much as I used to, even if I may well be worse off than I used to be.

Finding out tomorrow whether or not we got the apartment we want.

I am so nervous. Wish us luck, guys.

>>12166
I don't even know.

My parents will act nice and polite one minute (especially around people who aren't family) and jump down my throat about everything the next. So when I try to confide in people about how they don't allow me to have any freedom or have a job, or how they try to convince me every person I date/try to become friends with just wants me for my body or to steal money from me, people usually tell me "they're so nice, you're clearly lying, they really do love you".

People who love me wouldn't treat their kids this way, at least not when they're legally an adult. I feel trapped.

I miss this place... Wish I ever had enough time to make proper visites like I used to.

Nazara has arrived. Time to set her up and-
/Nazara has DMI,HDMI,and DP vidya ports
uggh. I need a converter to convert the 2'nd monitor into it.
but otherwise,she is a sexy beast. Nazara(Named after the name the geth called Sovereign) will be taking over The Judge's Position. Lots of transferring and installing to do!

ACCEPTED. I move out in twelve days! So stoked.

Gotta set up the utilities tomorrow and I frankly have no clue what I'm doing. Fun shit!

My grandmother passed away, and I sobbed my brains out last night, because she's been in the hospital for a bit, and I haven't gone to see her, because I've been so wiped from work, and they told me she was doing fine anyway. She got a blood clot in her leg, and they removed it, but it just went downhill, and last night she slipped away.
Now, I'm not religious, but the fact that a rainbow appeared right after she passed seems just so eerie that it has to be a sign.

I forgot to share this when it happened, but pictures keep popping up on blogs and things and everytime I see one I'm filled with joy and pride and affection.
A couple weeks ago, Anime North, a huge fan-run convention took place in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I went dressed as a BLU Femgineer with a home made Gunslinger and my boyfriend went as a BLU Sniper. The first day of the con he missed the Valve shoot and he was very disappointed about it since he had a 'special surprise' variation on his costume that he wanted to show off.
So the second day of the con we went to the Valve shoot together and the shoot was so much fun, a couple channers that I know were there, we took some great pictures and had some hilarious moments. As soon as the Engie shoot was done and the Sniper shoot had just finished up, my boyfriend and I snuck off to the parking lot and he changed into his second costume. He then ran back to the shoot and bombed at least a half a dozen Spies as they did their shoot. He was dressed in nothing but an Australian speedo, socks, shoes, hat, and glasses. Pic is further up the thread.
I can't even begin to descirbe how happy I was to stand with the other cosplayers as everyone took pictures of him, everyone watching him humping unsuspecting spies, while I held the rest of his clothes and said 'yeah, that's my boyfriend.'
Maybe because my ex was so... opposite of him? I can recall my ex, on more than one occasion, pretending he didn't know me in public because he didn't want anyone to think he was affiliated with me. It was the same at cons, he avoided me because I was lame and cosplaying and acting like a fool. It makes me so happy that my current boyfriend and I can be ridiculous together, that he loves me for being the outlandish character that I am and he joins me in the type of shenanigans that are the main reason I go to cons.
tl;dr: don't listen to me, i'm deliriously in love <3

My friends keep saying that if this other friend and I are having a "secret relationship", we are doing a terrible job of keeping it secret. We are not together.